Am I Blue?

Feeling sort of down today. Next weekend is a long weekend, and I get to spend 4 whole days with N in New York. So I should be happy and looking forward to that. And I am. But on the following Tuesday, I start my new job. I don't know if it's more anxiety-producing to start this new job, or to continue to live off my credit cards. Neither course of action is very appealing. Working again means I won't be able to spend 4-5 days at a time with N. It also means I'm really living here, in another city, with responsibilities and a brand new life. Wow, major reality check. I am looking forward to having a routine here, cash flow, to going to yoga again after work and to meeting friends for drinks after work, all the things I used to do and know how to do. And of course to the job itself, learning about a whole new aspect of the healthcare system, and being challenged again. But it will also be hard to say goodbye to this easy life I've been living, one of excessive coffee consumption, conjugal visits to my boyfriend in New York, and apartment fixing-upping. Ah well. It was fun while it lasted!